signes of being a great guy

It's T-minus 2 days till Thanksgiving and I seriously
cannot wait!

Turkey... Stuffing... Mashed potatoes...mmmm...
Ok, gotta stop here because I'm getting hungry!

(To all my readers outside the U.S. who don't celebrate Turkey
Day, I'll save you some leftovers...if my husband doesn't
get to 'em first! =))

But I must confess, my love for Thanksgiving goes way beyond
the excuse to eat every carb in the food pyramid.

I think the sentiment behind it is really special: to take
time out of your busy life to spend time with your loved ones
and remember all of the blessings in life that you're thankful
for.

And this year, I'm giving thanks for YOU!

I am very grateful that you've welcomed me into your life
and that we can share our thoughts, feelings and insights
about dating and relationships. I'm thankful to call you
my friend!

In today's DISH we're going to GIVE THANKS FOR GREAT GUYS!

I know we dish a lot about DRAMA in relationships... When
guys don't call when they say they will, breakups, confusing
behavior, etc.

But I think it's important to take a time out and remember
that there are a lot of really fantastic men out there in the
world who are waiting to meet a woman as special as YOU are!

So if you haven't found MR. RIGHT just YET...

I encourage you to take a little leap of faith today and
believe that he DOES exist.

That's right... brush that skepticism aside and actually
GIVE THANKS for the man of your future!

It might sound a little silly but it is a proven fact that
positive attitudes can result in positive outcomes.

Think of it this way...

You COULD go around saying "I'll NEVER meet a good man"
(which could turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy!)...

OR you could tell yourself "There's a GREAT guy out there
for me and I am so excited at the possibility that I could
meet him any day now, anywhere."

Wouldn't the latter thought open you up to seeing the world
in a different way - abundant, full of promise and potential
for love and happiness?

It's just a little shift in attitude but I promise you
IT WORKS!

Here's a great INSPIRATION STORY from a woman who was doubtful
she'd ever meet the right man for her... but today she's
THANKFUL that I proved her wrong!!!

************************************************************

INSPIRATION STORY: "Now That I've Learned to Be a Drama-Free
Woman, I Finally Met a REAL MAN!"

************************************************************


"Dear Paige,

I have saved your newsletters and have heeded your advice.

At times I'd get discouraged because I wasn't meeting the
right guy. Dating seemed to be a waste of time and thought
even your website to be useless too.

I was ready to give up.

And then it happened when I was not looking!

I was approached by a guy who asked me out to dinner.

I must admit I was leery and somewhat gun shy, but thought
dinner to be harmless. I've been divorced and dated several
guys over a period of twenty four years and I'm still single.

I realize WHY now... it was during dinner with my most
recent date... it dawned on me, that for the first time ever
...I actually was having dinner not with a GUY....but someone
who turned out to be a MAN!

We find we are compatible on all developed levels and degrees.
Maturity in a relationship is a must. It's because of that we
find we want to spend time together. And he and I don't have to
work hard at wanting to be together, because we worked hard at
being individually mature, all we have to do is go with the flow
in harmony and it's been a charm!

The advice you give on sex, insecurity, phone calls, etc. came
in handy when I least expected it would.

I also realize your advice has not been the advice of a gal...
its the advice of a WOMAN! And thank you for inspiring me to
be the woman that I am too. Next to every good man stands a
woman.

I enjoy your newsletters and responses to our replies, and
look forward to what comes out in the next newsletter. I never
know when I'm going to need your world view on relationships.
It won't hurt to be and stay prepared.

To other single women I say there's always hope!

- Debbie"

* * * * * *


Are you ready to open yourself up to the possibility that you
will find real love like that too?

Fabulous!

So now that you're in the right frame of mind, you're going to
need a little help knowing how to differentiate the GREAT guys
from the duds.

Well... you're in luck!

The following checklist (taken from my ebook, "Dating
Without Drama":
http://www.dating-without-drama.com/datingdish/datingdish6b )
will help you identify the qualities that make a man a
GREAT catch!


* * * * * * 12 SIGNS HE'S A GREAT GUY * * * * * *


___ He Cares About Your Needs
Your happiness and well-being are major priorities to him
and he actively works to contribute to them.
(Beware of men whose three favorite words are "Me, me, and
Me". While self-absorbed men can be attractive at first,
exuding charm and confidence, that act will wear thin
faster than he can say, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's
the hottest dude of all?" The truth about narcissists is
they are so obsessed with loving themselves that they are
incapable of truly loving another person. Don't take a
backseat to someone else's rabid ego!)

___ He Treats You Well
He treats you with respect and consideration at all times.
Here's a quick way to gauge this: How do you feel when
you're around him - happy, relaxed, safe? If he makes you
feel uneasy, insecure, controlled, or unsafe, he is
definitely not a GREAT guy.

___ He Treats Others Well
He's friendly with his doorman. He's he kind to waitresses
and generous with tips. If he's pleasant with other people
it's a good sign that he's not just putting on an act for
you.

___ He's in a Balanced Emotional State
In a word, he's stable (not overly jaded, doesn't have
excessive 'emotional baggage,' rage issues or out-of-
control mood swings).

___ He Has a Healthy Relationship Track Record
What is his dating history like? If he's had a few
semi-serious to serious relationships that he can look
back on as worthwhile experiences (without still holding
onto feelings for his exes or being excessively bitter),
chances are good that he's capable of a healthy
relationship with you.
However, if he was the king of one-night stands or he
hasn't dated much (or at all), these could be red flags.
If you know other women he's dated, what they have to say
about him could provide valuable clues.

___ He's Got a Good Relationship With His Family
If he's close with his family - treats his parents with
respect and is friendly with his siblings, these are all
good signs of a quality man. (HOWEVER....BEWARE OF THE
MAMA'S BOY! A man who hasn't "cut the cord" with his mother
is nothing but trouble...either he'll expect you to wait on
him and make his bed OR you'll spend your life trying to
live up to the perfect image of Mommy...Either way, it's
not good - so get out now and save yourself for a man who
will make you the #1 woman in his life!)

___ He's Mature
He demonstrates maturity on an intellectual and emotional
level. He follows through on his responsibilities. (This is
not the kind of guy who will blow off a commitment to stay
home and play Xbox!) He is clearly ready to meet the
obligations of an adult relationship.

___ He's Got a Stable Career
He has a good job or is pursuing an education. This
shows responsibility and maturity. (If he is content
not to work and just sponge off other people [especially
his parents] this is a bad sign!)

___ He's Got Passion
He has goals and dreams for his future and is committed
to pursuing them

___ He Has Good Health & Habits
He takes good care of himself (eats well, goes to the
gym, etc.). He does not exhibit any deal-breaker behaviors
(Drug or alcohol abuse, smoking, etc).

___ He's On Your Level Mentally & Emotionally
He can hold his own in a discussion about world events.
He challenges you intellectually. He's capable of having
conversations that are deeper than the weather or where
you want to go for dinner. Remember, intense physical
attraction may come and go, but a man that can keep you
on your toes in everyday conversation is truly a man that
can hold your interest!

___ He Shows Potential for Commitment
When you begin dating someone, you can never really be
sure if he's interested in a serious commitment or a fun
little fling. But you can take a calculated risk. There are
ways to glean clues about his intentions by observing his
current lifestyle. If he's young, has a reputation for being
a "player," or hangs out with single buddies who are into "the
scene," it could be a long while before he's ready to settle
down. If, however, his circle of friends are in serious
relationships/engaged and/or getting married there is a good
chance that he'll be ready for that phase himself soon enough.

(Not sure about your man's potential in the Commitment department?
Take my quiz "5 Questions to Gauge His Commitment-ability" in
Chapter 7 of "Dating Without Drama":
http://www.dating-without-drama.com/datingdish/datingdish6b